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Encountering rejection, especially when it recurs often, is anything but enjoyable. An editor is saying no, giving a clear “No.” As a writer, I am no stranger to setbacks. I started submitting manuscripts half a century past, upon finishing university. Since then, I have had two novels turned down, along with article pitches and many short stories. In the last two decades, focusing on commentary, the rejections have only increased. In a typical week, I get a setback frequently—adding up to over 100 annually. Cumulatively, denials in my profession number in the thousands. Today, I could claim a master’s in handling no’s.

So, is this a complaining outburst? Not at all. As, at last, at seven decades plus three, I have come to terms with rejection.

How Have I Accomplished It?

For perspective: Now, nearly every person and others has rejected me. I’ve never tracked my success rate—it would be quite demoralizing.

As an illustration: lately, a publication turned down 20 submissions consecutively before accepting one. Back in 2016, at least 50 publishing houses declined my memoir proposal before someone gave the green light. A few years later, 25 representatives rejected a project. One editor even asked that I submit potential guest essays only once a month.

My Phases of Rejection

Starting out, every no stung. I took them personally. I believed my creation being rejected, but me as a person.

Right after a piece was rejected, I would begin the process of setback:

• Initially, disbelief. How could this happen? How could they be ignore my ability?
• Second, refusal to accept. Surely you’ve rejected the mistake? This must be an mistake.
• Then, rejection of the rejection. What do editors know? Who made you to judge on my efforts? They’re foolish and their outlet is subpar. I reject your rejection.
• After that, frustration at them, followed by frustration with me. Why would I do this to myself? Could I be a masochist?
• Fifth, bargaining (often seasoned with delusion). How can I convince you to recognise me as a unique writer?
• Then, depression. I’m not talented. Additionally, I’ll never be successful.

So it went for decades.

Notable Examples

Of course, I was in fine fellowship. Stories of creators whose work was initially rejected are numerous. Herman Melville’s Moby-Dick. The creator of Frankenstein. The writer of Dubliners. Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita. The author of Catch-22. Almost every writer of repute was initially spurned. Since they did overcome rejection, then maybe I could, too. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. The majority of Presidents over the past six decades had previously lost elections. The filmmaker claims that his Rocky screenplay and bid to appear were declined numerous times. “I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle to motivate me and persevere, instead of giving up,” he stated.

The Final Phase

Later, when I entered my senior age, I reached the seventh stage of rejection. Understanding. Now, I better understand the many reasons why a publisher says no. To begin with, an editor may have just published a similar piece, or have something underway, or be considering something along the same lines for another contributor.

Or, less promisingly, my idea is of limited interest. Or maybe the editor thinks I don’t have the experience or standing to succeed. Or isn’t in the market for the wares I am submitting. Maybe was busy and scanned my work too fast to appreciate its abundant merits.

Feel free call it an awakening. Everything can be declined, and for numerous reasons, and there is virtually nothing you can do about it. Some rationales for rejection are permanently beyond your control.

Manageable Factors

Additional reasons are within it. Let’s face it, my proposals may sometimes be flawed. They may be irrelevant and impact, or the message I am struggling to articulate is not compelling enough. Alternatively I’m being obviously derivative. Or something about my writing style, especially dashes, was offensive.

The key is that, despite all my years of exertion and setbacks, I have achieved widely published. I’ve published several titles—my first when I was in my fifties, another, a autobiography, at 65—and over numerous essays. My writings have appeared in magazines major and minor, in local, national and global outlets. An early piece appeared decades ago—and I have now submitted to that publication for five decades.

Yet, no blockbusters, no book signings in bookshops, no appearances on popular shows, no Ted Talks, no prizes, no Pulitzers, no Nobel Prize, and no medal. But I can better accept rejection at this stage, because my, small successes have eased the jolts of my many rejections. I can now be reflective about it all now.

Educational Setbacks

Rejection can be educational, but provided that you listen to what it’s indicating. Or else, you will likely just keep taking rejection all wrong. What lessons have I learned?

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